March 28, 2014

Wednesday is the day that Trevor and I go serve in the Oakland Temple, and I had a profound experience in the last one. Before I write about a learning moment in my communion in a house of God. I want to say that as I was driving to Oakland, I was on Highway 17, and it was raining, when a car spun out in front of us. There was only one car between us and the spinning car. Gratitude enveloped my heart for I was in the slow lane, and both of cars, my car and the one before me, were able to stop. I did not slide and I slowed down quickly enough that we just drove around the spun car, which was facing traffic with the driver side wheel hanging off the highway. There were no crashes, and we arrived safely at the temple only with a little adrenaline rush.  

My first assignment was to serve in the endowment, and I prayed that I may be a representative of God as I served in his house especially in the moments of this ordinance. As I helped in the conclusion of an endowment, a man asked, if he should do it over again. When he said that, I knew that I did something wrong. My heart sunk in lowliness, wondering how this could be. When I saw him face to face, I recognized him as president Packard, an Area Authority. I thought to myself that he must be testing me. I tried not to justify my mistake, believing that God was teaching me how to represent him. I didn't know what to make of it as I pondered. My next assignment was to serve in the initiatory. I seem to be an expert because I am usually asked to serve there more than once in my shift. During one part I was told that I missed one word, and I made a connection between this new mistake and the one in the endowment. I learned to feel led by the Spirit in each moment. This does not mean that you need to feel the spirit in each moment. When I performed the ordinances incorrectly, I felt like I was missing something or I spaced out. I connected this feeling with being distracted, thinking off topic, or indulging in mediums that is not in the present like social media or talking about subjects that doesn't follow the spirit of the occasion. I also was prompted by the Spirit that the quality of Christ that he was teaching me about is being meek and lowly in heart. Meek people live in the moment by the Holy Ghost with compassion and passion. If you are feeling that you are missing something, seek to understand how to be led by the Spirit individually. I feel that I should be sensitive to people with attention deficiency. I expect that they feel that they are missing something often, but I encourage you to understand how the Holy Spirit works through you, since my situation is not universal. When an ordinance is performed, the spirit should confirm the completeness thereof. I realize that I felt the "stupor of thought" revealed that we will feel when our inquiry is false in Doctrine and Covenants 9:8. An ordinance worker definitely should not feel a stupor of thought after performing an ordinance, for the power of Godliness is manifest therein. Compassion and passion seem to be key parts of meekness and lowliness of heart, for a personal understanding of compassion is to feel after an individual. This may be the Holy Ghost, the person that you are serving, and the people all around you.  

In the temple we need to feel after the deceased person that we are serving as proxy. I realized that I only received the Endowment once; although, I have attended many of them. All the other endowments that I attended, serving as a proxy, should have compassion towards the deceased individual. We are not merely attending a session, but we are acting for and in behalf of the individual. We should act as though it is our first time receiving the Endowment, for it can be for the deceased individual. We only receive the Endowment once, and the other times that we attend an endowment is for another. We need to prepare for an endowment as though it is our first, for it is the first for the dead individual.  

These are the things that I learned in the temple. Meekness requires a worthiness of the presence of God in our hearts through faithfulness unto purity. When we obtain the gift of the Holy Ghost, we ought to understand how we are led by the Spirit in each moment, feeling reverence toward it dwelling within us as temples of God. Feel each moment, confirming the completeness of your actions sustained by the Holy Spirit. Feel after every individual present in our lives from the Godhead; his angels; our family dead, not born yet, and alive; and every child of God around us. I do love you; although, I may not be able to be in your presence. I act as though I live in your company.