My life has been very busy since
I wrote in my journal last. Jessica and I were married on the 19th of March
2016 in the Portland Temple. We waited until the week before the Spring
Semester started to do our open houses in Capitola, California and Heber City,
Utah. We were surprised that our first apartment was not furnished when we arrived.
The semester was very hard on Jessica. I finally got most that I have been
involved with ACMS, the Architecture and Construction Management Society, going
to network with general contractors in a golfing event and Portland. I
interviewed with a few companies. One interview got me a job for the fall
semester. My semester was chill, but there was a culture developed in my
estimating class of cheating, which I had to repent of. I am now in Oregon. We
came here early because I wanted to go see my friend perform in his rock band.
We are on vacation this summer. I will not be working because this year is the
50th anniversary of the Latter-day Saint mission in Thailand. We are going to
visit there for a month.
Our approach to the marriage
planning for our wedding was influenced by Jasmine, Jessica's sister. Jasmine's
marriage came so fast. It was very stressful on Mercedes, Jessica's mother.
Jessica and I didn't want that to happen to her twice in a row, so we hired a
wedding decorator. Jessica's parents barely scrap by each month, and Mercedes
insisted on obtaining a loan. I would have preferred that we lived within our
means, but she has always lived beyond the family’s means to provide for
Jasmine and Jessica. Jessica wants a good wedding reception, and Mercedes
justified it with the loan. The loan was not sufficient for our ideas, so my
parents paid for about half of the reception expenses. I don't know if the loan
is better for Mercedes because we were planning the wedding on our own, but the
planning period was less stressful for her.
Jessica is very indecisive, and
decisions would not be made if I didn't have an opinion. We were talking with
the wedding decorator for way to long accomplishing very little, entertaining
her ideas. Jessica is like most girls, imagining a most wonderful wedding
reception. My opinion was to go thrifty, yet stylish. I designed our wedding
cake and invitations. I let Jessica put in her input as long as possible, but
she never decided on anything decoratingwise. We did most of the arrangements.
Mercedes participated, but we guided it.
We wanted hors-d'oeuvre to be
served because we could not afford to serve dinner to everyone, and we wanted
to embrace Jessica's Colombian heritage especially because the main reason that
we choose to have the wedding in Oregon was to have the natural dance
environment of her Colombian background to manifest; therefore, we choose to
have Colombian food catered. This also avoided much of the cooking stress;
although, Mercedes still cooked, preparing additional food. Foodwise; I believe
that her additional food contribution was ill-conceived. We purchased small
plates for hors-d'oeuvre, but the additional food main the reception feel like
we have food for a dinner. After the wedding Mercedes complained that people
were taking double the plates, when they served themselves food, but I believe
that the guests grabbed double the plates because we had double the food that
we were to have. I was trying to lead the wedding reception, so I missed all
the drama of the wedding and the reception. Mercedes was taking care of the
food situation, and she was lucky to have set aside a package of plates to
serve the cake. Of course, Jessica and I barely ate anything. Jessica didn't
eat much because of her anxiety.
The night before the wedding was
chill, and we had everything prepared because the decorators decorated the
chapel that we had the reception at. The food was catered. The food Mercedes
contributed in addition to the catering was prepared at a previous time. We had
time to meet as family to enjoy each other's company and the occasion. I found
it odd that we decided to have the two sides of the family separate, but
Jessica's family did their own thing, and my family went out to eat at a nice restaurant
near my parents' hotel. The party size of the dinner was large. Aunt Glennalee
and Devon came. They were my only aunt and uncle that came, which was expected
because my family is not that united. Jessica's family is much more united. My
groomsmen were there. When I started relationship with Jessica, I devoted my
whole life to the preparation of our marriage, having neglected my friends. I
had few groomsmen. It was basically the following two: Jesse Kaupert and
Michael Angulo. My little brother and in-law were my groomsmen. I had trouble
finding groomsmen to equal the number of Jessica's bridesmaids; not that she is
more friendly, her roommates were close, which is typical for BYU-Idaho women
student apartments. My apartments as a man were never as close to each other as
Jessica's roommates. Arriving just in time from Utah, Jesse came with Paige
Dexter and Rachel Dunlap, who are friends from BYU Idaho. We all had a good
time eating together the night before the wedding.
I don't know exactly what Jessica
did with her family the night before the wedding. I heard that everyone gave
her marriage advice. R.E.'s was a little controversial, which is why I remember
it. She said to let your children see you argue with your spouse, but I think
that she means set a proper example of problem solving with communication.
Hailey said something that Jessica and I already did, so I don't remember it
well. Maybe I will ask Jessica. R.E. is Jessica's cousin, and Hailey is her half-sister.
The day of our marriage went very
well. Portland was the best location because it allowed the atmosphere that we
wanted, which mainly depended on dancing at the reception. We had the entire
day planned for fun of family and friends. We had the marriage first. After we
had our first breakfast at a Thai restaurant near the temple. We had a few
hours until the reception, so we planned for a period of time for the
bridesmaids and groomsmen to have a good time together with us. Afterwards we
had our reception.
The sealing was done by Charle
Grimshaw also known as Chuck. He was the bishop of my parent's, when they first
got married. I don't remember much of what he said before the sealing. During
the sealing, Jessica and I took two different things from his counsel. I
remembered that Chuck said that he purchased land in the bay area of California
before the 1989 earthquake to build their house. A large rock was discovered on
the property after the land was acquired. A concrete foundation was not an
option, and Chuck had the opportunity of building the house on the rock
analyzed. The house was ultimately designed to be constructed on the rock. When
the 1989 earthquake came, all his neighbor's houses were destroyed except for
his. The rock is the Savior Jesus Christ, and "He that buildeth upon this
rock shall never fall." (D&C 50:44)
After the sealing we took
pictures. Mercedes practically did everything for Jasmine's wedding pictures
except take the pictures, having to choose the location and arrange the
families for the photographer. One thing that was weird if the she forgot to
arrange a picture for both the Ledesma and Roger family together. I definitely
did not what to witness that again. We got a professional photographer to
arrange everything. The pictures came out great. Jessica complained for a long
time about how she didn't look natural, enduring her social anxiety. She has
said that she wished that she continued to take her medication, and she has
also said about the photography that she is proud of how everything went even
the pictures. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with the pictures. She
looks at wedding pictures a lot, which has let her ponder our wedding day.
It is Hicken family tradition to
do a first breakfast, which is the first meal of a marriage. This was the first
time where both extended families got to commune with each other. I asked my
father to host it. Kurtis Day, my cousin, had an interactive first breakfast,
letting family members tell stories of the newlyweds, but dad mainly started
the meal with a prayer and gave me a general conference talk about marriage.
The meal was an arranged buffet at a Thai restaurant. Our company filled most
of the restaurant. Glennalee and Devon, the parents of Kurtis Day, has a
special connection with Beaverton, Oregon because Kurtis served in my in-laws
Spanish group. It was not a branch at the time of Kurtis' mission. Everyone got
along well, but Mercedes divided from John. We had my parents sit at one table
and grandparents sit at another. Jessica's parents were sitting awkwardly
together, and Mercedes had her best friend sit with them. I also sat at a table
with Jessica, and the generations were all on a row. Jessica's grandma sat with
the family because her spouse has passed away. I tried to mingle with all of
the family well, but I feel that we neglected to cultivate a bond with
Jessica's little cousins especially Eve's children.
After the first breakfast I
planned the time until the reception to time for the bridesmaids and groomsmen
to have a good time together. I delegated to Jesse Kaupert to organize the
activity. It was the idea of Paige's date with Jesse, when they went out once.
We were going to fold paper boats and race them, since the Park was closed.
Jesse had to improvise. We almost went exploring add some hiking trails, but
the bridesmaids weren't into it, since they were dressed nice. We settled with
folding paper into swans. We were at a park for a long time, waiting for R.E.
and Hailey, but Daniel, Jessica's uncle, was too exhausted, requiring a nap;
therefore, their time with us before the wedding reception was a haphazardly
moment. Mercedes was rushing us to be at the reception area to help prepare and
receive the cake; however, we did not feel that is necessary. We hung out and
had a good time with our friends. I have heard people say that my focus on
people was admirable. Every moment was about relationships. We basically
subcontracted all the labor for the reception preparation.
The reception started very slow.
We could choose to greet everyone individually or make a line for the guests to
greet us. Jessica and I decided to have a line, so the guests can visit with
the patriarchs and matriarchs of our families. We planned to meet the guests,
hoping to have them seated with food within 30-45 minutes, but it took longer
than anticipated. The family and Jessica especially was anxious. When everyone
was ready, we had Jessica's father begin the activities. John's introduction
was generic, and Jessica had Lucas Rodgers give the invocation. Afterwards
Jessica and I cut the cake. We didn't practice it, so it was a little hectic.
The slice that we cut ourselves was small. After that time we rested somewhat.
Jessica tossed her bouquet, giving her little time to eat. She couldn't eat
anyway, since she was so nervous. One of the main reasons that we chose to have
the reception in Portland was for the environment of Latin dancing with
Jessica's Spanish branch and her mother's Colombian heritage.
The father daughter dance was a
little weird. Our guidance to the DJ was very minimal, which made the
experience memorable. We asked John for a suggestion for a song for the daddy
daughter dance, but he didn't give one. I danced with my mother as Jessica
danced with her father. At first the song was a ballroom dance style of boxes.
Mom taught it to me, and it was fine; however, the song changed music styles
every thirty seconds or so. Jessica characterizes the song as a carousel song.
It was awkward. The song choices were a little awkward too; plus, the DJ would
have a ten second merengue song to transition between songs, which would
confuse me. I am not used to having a miniature song transition between songs
in dances. R.E., a daughter of Aaron Ledesma whose who is an uncle of Jessica
lead the group in some dances. Her family are dancers. Lucas' dancing was goofy
funny. Michael Angulo was a little awkward. It seemed like he was flirting with
Jessica's married half-sister, Hayley. We were happy with the dance most
everyone was dancing. Jessica is the only person that could get me dancing.
Jessica and I delegated the role
of decorating our car and preparing our departure from the reception to the
bridesmaids. We passed out a bunch of bubbles containers. It maded the dance
fun. Mercedes couldn't figure out how to blow bubbles with what we got. After a
while people formed a long line from the cultural hall out of the chapel, and
both sides made an arch. Jessica and I ran through the line. Dad thought that
we left too quickly. People blew bubbles. People waved good bye. Grandma
Ledesma commented about having children. We drove off to a Hilton Suite.
One thing that I have not said is
that Jessica and I had never kissed before our sealing. She thought that it
would be romantic to have her first kiss when we were married. She immediately
thought that it was foolish when we kissed for the first time in front of
everyone during the sealing. I am talking about kisses on the lips. We drove to
an embassy suite, and we thought that would be good; plus, it was advised by
the Bleaks, who we were staying with. The time at the hotel is important to set
new familiarity. I never felt so loved.
We chose the 19th of March
because the weekend before school would be crazy; the weekend before that was
general conference; and the weekend before general conference was the women's
conference of general conference; therefore, we chose 19th of March
because it was the weekend before all of the conference.
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